Loose Unit Albo spends election eve doing donuts outside ScoMo’s house

Parents name new-born twins “Corruption” and “Climate Change” to stop ScoMo tackling them before 2050

Albanese responds to Morrison tackle by king hitting nearest child

“Trans people are a threat to children’s sport” claims man who decked child in non contact sport

Dutton distracts himself from the pain of losing his defamation suit by drowning some puppies

Scott Morrison blames Labor for Scott Morrison

“At least things can’t get any worse” says naive man unaware of imminent zombie apocalypse

Good Year sued for false advertising

Morrison offers to lend his power drill after hearing Putin’s planning a coop

Boris Johnson celebrates the release of his corruption report by throwing a party

Thousands of naughty kids injured after Santa replaces coal with wind turbines

Fears of super spreader event after single man visits 7 billion houses in one night

Nation left feeling apathetic as there is still another day before the election

Andrew Bolt forced to apologise to viewers after suggesting that Albo might not be pure evil

Is Scott Morrison too much of an ‘alpha’ to be PM?

‘Can we live in a voting box?’ and other stupid questions for the AEC

Why Grace Tame loves comedy

‘Google it mate’ Adam Bandt slammed for endorsing tax-dodging big business

United Australia Party gets confused, accidentally delivers 3% cap on its primary vote

There’s an unwanted bulldozer for sale on Gumtree if you’re interested

Kristina Keneally releases statement conceding defeat: “I’ve been honoured to stand for the people of [need to ask Terry name of electorate]”

Libertarian Tim Wilson finally manages to get government out of his life

Morrison clears out his office

Morrison escapes on holiday as nation experiences massive landslide