May 9, 2020

Mysterious U2 album called “Not a tracking app” appears on everyone’s phone

“I think the name of the album in reference answers that question.”

May 2, 2020

Experts warn death toll from stampede to the pub could exceed COVID-19

"It'll be a complete bloodbath"

January 3, 2020

Morrison employs handshake consultant on $400,000

He has his work cut out for him

January 2, 2020

Morrison offers one waterbombing run for every 6 hit in the Sydney Test

"Come on boys!"

November 13, 2019

NSW Government finally respond to climate change, announce plans to strip search bushfires

"Problem solved"

November 13, 2019

Barnaby Joyce caught planting flamethrower in Richard di Natale’s garage

"I was just returning it!"

November 11, 2019

“Climate is only an issue for inner city loony lefties” says politician representing drought ravaged farmlands

"Why would people in the bush care about climate change"

October 18, 2019

“Paying staff correct wages is too difficult” says chef who invented edible door knobs

"Basic math is hard!"

October 10, 2019

Office worker furious at protestors who made him late for job he hates turning up to

"How dare you!"