General News
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General News
Sky News apologise for racism and reassure fans “it will happen again”
Sky News also took a second to thank their loyal sponsors like Commonwealth Bank
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General News
Sky News suddenly turns against millionaires the moment an Indigenous teen becomes one
“Normally when someone gets millions of dollars, we celebrate it and whatever tax avoidance or other crimes they may have committed. But this time is different.”
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General News
Abuse shelter relocates to a coal mine in hopes of getting government funding
“We would have moved to a nuclear submarine but the people we are trying to house need immediate support, despite what the government seems to think.”
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General News
Local woman convinced that misogyny is no longer a problem thanks to man shouting “Not All Men” every time she talks
“Silly me, how could I not realised that the real victims here are the men who have to live in fear of women who talk about their genuine fears of being killed.”
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General News
Bears speak out against unfair comparison to men
“Please don’t compare us to those vicious animals.”
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General News
Bruce Lehrmann agrees to pay hundreds of dollars for Peter FitzSimons oat matcha lattés during trial period
“I understand why I need to pay this,” said Lehrmann, “I mean I am no stranger to stimulants myself.”
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General News
Scott Morrison becomes relatable to nation after revealing that he was anxious as fuck thanks to Scott Morrison’s prime ministership
“I had no idea that other people felt the same way as me for once,” said Morrison
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General News
Morrison wishes people understood how stressful it is to be the Finance Minister, Home Affairs Minister, Minister for Social Services and Health Minister
Former Ministers Scott Morrison has called for sympathy for mental health issues after revealing all the lies he told as PM gave him anxiety. “Mental health is so important if you’re white,” he stated solemnly at a press conference. “Anyone you know could secretly be five cabinet ministers and that sort of thing takes a…
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General News
Tearful Bruce Lehrmann forced to sell Karaoke machine to pay legal fees
Other items for sale include a Channel 7 pass, a frequent customer card to a ‘massage’ place and a collection of empty baggies.
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General News
The ‘Daily Mail of political commentators’ joins the Daily Mail
The Daily Mail Australia has announced they have hired a new political editor in Christian Porter’s former PR Manager Peter van Onselen. “On a macro level, he will fit in perfectly here,” said another Daily Mail editor, “but on a micro level, when it comes to defending powerful men and telling women to smile more,…