Part-time backbencher and full time Facebook conspiracy theorist, George Christensen, has attempted to keep hidden letters by the Australian Federal Police to Peter Dutton about his trips to the Philippines.

It comes after a Freedom of Information request was made to reveal the documents. The freedom of speech warrior claims that the information on the letters are a threat to national security and it would be better for everyone if the Deep State covered it up for him, for some, not suspicious, reason.

“What is the government hiding?” asked the MP. “And furthermore can they please keep hiding what I am being investigated for? If we allow this false information to get out about me, people will have to come up with their own opinions on me. There is no room for that in this situation. In this situation people shouldn’t do their own research!”

“Yes, this is the second time I have tried to redact this FOI request, but the first time I said it was an invasion of privacy and involved my personal relations. But seeing as my umm…  only family lives in Australia and I don’t have anyone over there, I clearly actually had totally nothing to hide over in… umm… the Philippines. That’s right, see it is so unremarkable to me I couldn’t remember where it was. So nothing suspicious there, no need to see the letters.”

“But now this is a very serious issue. See, the simple explanation is that the AFP have accused me of committing a crime. But I deny the allegation, which is why I think no one needs to see what the allegation is. I need to protect my freedom of speech from the cancel culture brigade by shutting down their opinions about I did. Again nothing suspicious going on.”

When asked by a journalist why Christensen doesn’t just answer the question as to why he went over to the Philippines so often, Christensen said “Umm… well.. oh no would you look at the time. I need to take my horse dewormer, hopefully it can protect me from this sort of stuff too.”