The International Panel on Climate Change has landed on thin ice with health officials this week after deciding to declare the entire planet Earth a hotspot.

The declaration has led to a bloody rivalry between two factions of scientists, with epidemiologists everywhere vowing war against climatologists. The fallout of this dispute is grim, with experts predicting that parties with scientists will be even more awkward and lame.

In response to the news that planet earth is now a hotspot, the Australian Government announced that they would do everything in their best efforts to lower the accountability of the country, pledging to reach net-zero admissions of responsibility by the year 2025.