After Pauline Hanson wore a burqa to the Senate this week, parliament has agreed to debate making it compulsory for her to wear one at all times from now on.
According to Senators present, not having to look at Pauline Hansons’ smirking face across the Senate floor was a “sweet, sweet breath of fresh air” and they were prepared to urgently look at legislation designed to make it permanent.
Likewise, several Senators noted that the burqa successfully muffled Paulines’ voice, making it more possible to tune out. “I think she was saying something about rabbits in Iceland or radish and spiced ham before she took the burqa off. In any case it doesn’t matter, just the fact that we all weren’t being made stupider for having to sit there listening to her ramble on about whatever the latest piece of codswallop she found on a 3am Ask Jeeves binge is a welcome relief for us all.”
But most senators agreed that the single biggest benefit from the burqa was the ability to pretend that Mrs Hanson wasn’t really present in the chamber at all. According to one source “When Pauline wears a burqa one can finally dare to dream. Dream she was never elected. Dream she isn’t in the senate. It’s only when she took the burqa off yesterday that we all realised we had an extremist minority sitting right there in our parliament.”
While no-one was sure exactly what Pauline was trying to prove, many in the Senate were happy she’d finally brought the matter to the parliaments attention, and stated that a vote was long overdue. “Look, I’m a white Christian living in a predominantly Christian country, so I usually spend exactly 0% of my life thinking about the burqa, but by wearing it to parliament Pauline has done us a favour and Australia a favour. Now if we can just legislate it so she never takes it off again, we can all get on with the business of actually running this country like we’re supposed to be.”
The Chaser Quarterly