Local family the Marksons are in mourning today, as the family were forced to resort to using the plastic bag formerly reserved for storing other plastic bags as a bin liner as their supply of Woolworths turtle stranglers ran dry.
“It’s the end of an age,” said Darren Markson, the family patriarch, “That bag was given to me by my father, when he came over for lunch last Christmas. It’s served us well, though numerous cycles of other bags we sheepishly brought back from the supermarket because we fucking forgot again to bring THE GOD DAMNED CANVAS BAGS.”
Young Emily Markson also shed a tear, stating that it was sad to know that she’d never get to grow up in that golden age when plastic bags were handed out free on every street corner, and suffocated dolphins could be found free on every local beach. “That’s just how it goes,” sighed Emily, “First they came for the free university, now the plastic bags.”
“What’s next are they going to start charging us to watch TV?” asked Darren.
“Wait, you guys didn’t have to pay for Netflix?” replied Emily.