While idiot nay-sayers like ‘NASA’ might try and disprove the expert work of Astrologists in regards to how your star sign affects your life, we decided to make it easy for you the reader to judge for yourself. Some people might claim that reading star signs makes you gullible, but that can’t be true for everyone so we did our research and have determined which star signs are the most ‘gullible’ and which are the smartest ones who are open to new ideas and beliefs. So please find your answer below:
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)
Aquarius people are ruled by Uranus and Saturn and are known for being deep thinkers. Although much like ‘Your Anus’, your critical thinking is full of shit. In case your deep thinking hasn’t figured it out yet; you’re gullible! Now the solution to this issue is to give us money.
Pisces (Feb 19-March 20)
Pisces are known for being friendly and sympathetic which can be tough. Especially because the rest of the people aren’t as sympathetic to you, making it harder for them to want to help a gullible idiot like you who will listen to any old nonsense. Now give us money your money because we need it.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Aries the ram, you are strong and go into danger head on. You charge ahead without a second thought. You know like gullible idiots do, now give us money!
Taurus (April 20- May 20)
Taurus the bull. You are strong and stay down to earth, however as a Taurus you are affected by the Bull in the sky as well as the bull people tell you. You are powered by bull making you susceptible to bull. Now fund our bull and give us money!
Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Gemini represents two different personalities, meaning unlike other people you can weigh up different ideas on a topic while you think. Reading this means your two personalities are stupid and gullible, now give us your money!
Cancer (June 21- July 22)
Cancer the brave crab, you have a hardened shell that protects you from those who may try to hurt you and your beliefs. Like a crab to claw onto ideas and beliefs and are willing to hold on no matter what much in the same way as a gullible person does, give us money to fix that!
Leo (July 23- August 22)
Leo, the confident leader and king of the jungle. Like many leaders throughout history you will understand the importance of hearing people out. Even idiots can tell you shit and you listen. You are reading a Chaser article for advice for Christ’s sake. Now give us money!
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Virgos are known for being analytic. So analytic you are you need to look at all possibilities and open to many sources. Your strong analytical skills even led to you asking the Chaser if you are gullible cause you couldn’t analyse that yourself. Now analyse our donate page and give us money!
Libra (September 23- October 22)
Libra are balanced and measured. A profit and revolutionary once said “Perfectly balanced like all things should be” and that is how you Libras operate. On the scale, you weighed up our article and your gullibility and it has tipped to you being gullible. Now balance all that by adding to our bank balance!
Scorpio (October 23- November 21)
Scorpios are known for being powerful, passionate and resourceful. That passion has led you to reading a resource from us on whether you’re gullible, like a gullible person would. Now give us money!
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Sagittarius are known for being curious and energetic. That curious energy, much like George, could lead you astray. Luckily you have been guided by your bow and arrow to always hit the target, bullseye, smack bang in the middle of believing in something like a gullible person. Hand over that money!
Capricorn (December 22- January 19)
Capricorn the goat, you are the GOAT. Greatest of all time, the greatest sucker you moron. Hurry up, give us your money, stop wasting our time!