Following comments describing the vaccine rollout as “the Hunger Games” NSW Health Minister Brad Hazzard has today announced a new health plan which will see Olympic Park converted into a Colosseum.
The new initiative from the health department will finally give young people the chance to get vaccinated, by fighting for one of the country’s 3 vials of Pfizer vaccine.
“It’s a foolproof solution!” explained Hazzard. “We’ll solve the problem of there not being enough vaccines for young people, and everyone else gets free entertainment. Plus it’ll free up a lot more housing for rich investors that a handful of greedy Millennials selfishly bought up to “live in”. So there’s literally no downside for anyone!”
Update: The three Pfizer vaccines have now been taken off the table, after an elderly Facebook user refused to take anything but the Pfizer vaccine. The three surviving under 25s have been placed back at the end of the queue.
If you enjoyed this article, consider becoming a contributor to the Chaser Beer Fund. For just $7 a month you can help us employ 20 more interns.