Genius lawyer and former top law officer Christian Porter has today triumphantly taken home another spectacular courtroom loss following the Jo Dyer verdict. Celebrating with his lawyers outside the courtroom, a teary Porter said he hoped the judge’s ruling for Porter to pay $420,000 in court costs would really wipe the smile off his opponent’s face.
“Just like the ABC, Jo has leaned a valuable lesson never to take on the Portmaster!” smiled Porter as the authorities towed away his car. “I think if this case has proven anything, it’s that you don’t take on the Attorney General in court without someone’s reputation being left in shatters!”
Asked what he was planning to do with all the money he’s just vacated, Porter said that he is hoping to donate the loss to charity. “Yes I’m looking at a range of charitable trusts that might be able to get me out of this pickle,” explained Porter. “Many anonymous philanthropists seemed very keen on donating to my cause, from a miss G. Rinehart, to a Mr J. Murdoch. I’m afraid I can’t say any more than that though.”