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Government best known for locking down half of Sydney every night for 10 years announce they don’t do curfews

Premier State and record holder for the world’s largest retirement village, New South Wales, has this week demonstrated they have learned absolutely nothing from 10 years of lockdown rehearsals after the state once again racked up record numbers as a result of people visiting others homes.

“These aren’t the numbers we are wanting to see, so can I just say, excuse me I haven’t finished my answer, and that is very concerning,” said the Premier today for the 48th day in a row. “And if me standing here and repeating the same sentence every day for two months won’t fix the problem I am simply out of ideas. You’re all on your own.”

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Sydney locals meanwhile have flocked to the streets, stating that the instructions ‘stay home’ were simply too complicated to understand. “Wait so if they said stay home that means I can go to someone else’s home right?” asked one Sydneysider who somehow still isn’t getting this after two months. “And can I go to Homewares Emporium? That has the word home in it?”

“The fact is I never really wanted to go out before, after all I moved to Sydney for a reason,” explained another local on the way to JBHifi. “But now that I’ve been told I can’t go out, I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some government ‘health expert’ tell me not to kill a few elderly relatives.”




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