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John Barilaro resigns to spend more time with the fixated person’s unit

Former Deputy Premier John Barilaro has resigned just days after former premier Gladys Berejiklian resigned over a corruption investigation, completely coincidentally.

Barilaro told reporters the decision came after he wanted to spend more time with his loved ones at the fixated person’s unit.

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“I regret to inform the public that I will stepping down from my role as deputy,” he said wiping away tears with a cease and desist form, “my time serving the public’s rich people is over.”

“I loved my time as Deputy Premier but I need to do what’s best for me and right now it is spending time with those dearest to me. I have a lot of catching up to do with the fixated person’s unit, Angus Taylor’s family and the fossil fuel giants. They have always been my priority.”

“I understand this will be a devastating blow to the people of NSW I am sure. Wait hold on, I’m hearing loud cheering. Is there a Panthers celebration on nearby?”

A spokeskoala welcomed the news.




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