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Morrison under pressure to quit after losing 100% of Newspolls in a row

The Liberal Party is under pressure to shake up its leadership position after a disastrous Newspoll shows Prime Minister Scott Morrison behind 44% to 56% – facing electoral wipeout at the next election.

“Scott Morrison has now lost 100% of Newspolls in a row,” quipped one backbencher who refused to be named as he came out of the surf in red budgie-smugglers outside Manly Surf Club this morning.

The Hard Right of the party is still unconvinced that the Prime Minister is supportive enough of the coal industry, despite photos of him taking an actual piece of coal into Question Time earlier this year. “Only if he brings a whole shipping container of coal into parliament, and then sets up an actual furnace inside the chamber, and uses it to create electricity, will we trust him on this. Anything less is pandering to the extremist left.”

“It’s only a matter of time before Morrison is knocked off,” said one insider. “I mean, he’s had the weekend to implement an Ayn Rand utopia. He’s failed,” said the insider, who refused to be named, as he bit into an unwashed, unpeeled raw onion and chomped on it happily.



Charles Firth
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