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Perrottet admits slight difficulty in enforcing new testing rules due to THE COMPLETE FUCKING LACK OF RATS

NSW Premier Dominic Perrottet has admitted enforcing the new rules around registering positive RAT results will prove difficult, given the tests are even harder to find than female cabinet members.

“Look, we know we’re up against it,” he explained outside an empty cafe today, “but it’s time people took personal responsibility when it comes to obtaining the tests. If their wives can’t duck out and find one at the pharmacy or the supermarket, it may be a case of they’re just not trying hard enough, you know? Look under the shelves. Harass a shop assistant. If you have a go, you’ll get a test.”

When questioned about the $1000 fine applicable to those who don’t register a positive RAT, Mr Perrottet said he felt it was a perfectly reasonable amount.

“If you can afford to purchase RATs in the first place, you’re perfectly capable of paying the fine for not providing us with free data we’ll try and use to get re-elected. And if you can’t afford the tests, well the $1000 fine is still cheaper than a 5 pack at Chemist Warehouse.”

“Anyway, I have to go. This crisis won’t mismanage itself.”




The Chaser