Perth man not so keen on clubs reopening after paying $25 for shot of Jim Beam

Perth nightclubs reopened this weekend with thousands of excited partygoers lining up for their first chance to get publicly shit-faced since lockdown began. A local Perth man, Jim Daniels, has however expressed his disappointment at the nightlife scene some 25 minutes into lining up at the bar.

“I guess I romanticised the whole thing in my head because what I’ve experienced so far has been a total let down!” he snapped while having a red cocktail accidentally splashed on his white shirt from a passerby. “Somehow there’s vomit in every toilet already,” he continued “plus pints still cost a kidney and I’m not even drunk yet!”

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Catching up with Mr Daniels in the morning, he seemed to echo his sentiments from the night before. “I’ve basically blown all the money I saved during the lockdown and I feel worse than the Adelaide Crows are performing on the field. Now I remember why I hate going out in this town! But will I do it all again next weekend? You bet.”

The Chaser