Many people around the world were quick to criticise President Donald Trump today for saying that heat, light and injecting household cleaning agents are cures for COVID-19, however one man jumping to his defence in celebrity chef and Fred Flintstone wannabe Pete Evans.
Paleo Pete who came under fire after for suggesting the use of a $15K light machine to cure coronavirus only a fortnight ago (or 2 months ago if we convert for how time moves in 2020) on the 10th of April. Even though the creators of the light said it is not a cure for any disease, Evans stands sure that light is a way to kill the virus and dismisses any criticism as ‘based on facts and evidence’ a thing Evans is strongly against.
“Look I don’t agree with everything he says,” Evans told us in an interview, “I am strongly against injecting cleaning products in your body, as it is not in keeping with the paleo diet. But I am excited to see a world leader finally looking into real solutions to this. I am glad he is listening to people like us, not those annoying ‘Doctors’. I mean what do they know? They have always been my enemy, and it seems recently they have become the President’s enemy too.”
“Although looking into it more it isn’t an enemy of my enemy situation,” Evans continued, “he and I seem to have a lot in common. We are both tv hosts, we love eating, we don’t trust vaccines and we both enjoy staring straight into the sun. I think with those in mind it is clear why we know that we are smarter than these so called ‘Doctors’.”
The Australian Medical Association has responded to Evans with an open letter writing, “Shut up Pete, just please stop talking. Doctors are far too busy to deal with your stupidity right now!”
If you enjoyed this article, consider becoming a contributor to the Chaser Beer Fund. For just $7 a month you can help us employ 20 more interns.