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Local banker forced to defraud 2 more grandmas a week following cocaine price hike



PM who can’t tell the difference between Taiwan and Hong Kong ready to take on China



“Facebook is undemocratic” complains man who tried to overturn an election



PM announces India ban exemption, ‘We must evacuate Adani executives’



“We’d never actually jail overseas arrivals” says country with island prison full of overseas arrivals



Nation that lost a war to emus reckons it can take on China



Pot calls kettle racist



Andrew Bolt clarifies “I meant Australia’s India ban is racist in a good way”



Government that says climate action is too expensive reckons we should start a war with China



Government launches investigation after Australian of the Year shows leadership and integrity uncharacteristic of Aussie leaders



“The devil is social media” says guy keeping kids on an island prison



Christian faith plummets following revelation Hawaii Guy was God’s pick for PM



Prime Minister makes it up to Brittany Higgins by offering her a milkshake



Nation waiting nervously to see how PM will fuck up Higgins meeting



God tells PM to ‘shut the fuck up and listen to Brittney Higgins’



ASIO warns of increased risk of religious extremists after hearing ScoMo’s weird speech



Laming shocked to learn DH in ADHD does’t stand for dickhead



Government unveil new consent video that just diagnoses sex offenders with ADHD



Aussie media confused after seeing US journalists quit Newscorp over made up story



Man who looks like a potato sues social media user for defamation



Joe Rogan apologises for dangerous misinformation and reassures fans ‘it will happen again’



Evil One tops polls for preferred PM



Morrison clarifies when he said the almighty made him PM, he was talking about Murdoch



Morrison solves vaccine debacle by ordering 20 million extra prayers



PM bases climate policy on God’s approach to Jesus: ‘Our kids are going to die slowly and painfully’



‘Australia needs more Jesus’ says PM who would have Jesus locked up if he came here



People wear clothes to industry event



Peter Dutton sues The Body Shop for false advertising



“Don’t blame me for your mess” God tells Morrison



Oscars regret hiring M. Night Shaymalan to select best actor award



Banned from Facebook, Craig Kelly forced to turn to OnlyFans to spread conspiracies



Man who had no problem with police murdering suspect suddenly very concerned about fair trials



Scott Morrison promises to cut inner city lefties in half by 2030



Scott Morrison reassures the nation that he has received his vaccine



Dictator Dan strikes again as Perth goes into 3 day lockdown



George Christensen steps down from politics to spend less time on holiday in the Philippines



Billionaire who beats up the mentally ill somehow not the villain



“Men don’t need consent lessons” claims guy who wrote love letters to students



Chauvin ruling shows justice system works if you simply stage largest protest in history



Scott Morrison sets aside April 31st to meet Brittany Higgins



“Thank you to George Floyd for choosing to be murdered so white people can learn murder is bad”- Nancy Pelosi



“Why do school kids hate cops?” say police in the middle of strip searching teen



Police minister concerned BLM poster in classroom might teach students to value black lives



Tesla cars start killing their own drivers in bold next step towards fully driverless cars



Government release revised consent video replacing milkshake with a desk



“ABC isn’t efficient” says government spending $3.7mil on a milkshake ad



CHASER FACT-CHECK: Pm’s claim that cafes won’t stop climate change is bang on



“People from the inner city won’t stop climate change” says PM citing himself as an example



“Billionaires using money to make soccer into a monopoly is wrong” says NewsCorp reporter



“Lattes won’t solve climate change” says man who thinks milkshakes will solve sexual assault



Byron Bay worried that influencers will hurt their reputation as anti-vax narcissists



Sky News successfully debunks evolution by turning audience into Neanderthals



Local man now very clear about not sexually assaulting milkshakes



Labor announces ‘net zero standing in the way of coal by 2050’



Queen farewells Prince Philip by returning to Reptilian form and devouring him whole



Australia in trouble after learning they can only send vaccinated athletes to Olympics



News Corp outraged after tipoff ‘gullible’ has been taken out of dictionary



Engadine Maccas suffers flashback after disturbing image of PM squatting emerges



We faked a story about Fairy Bread being cancelled, and the media took it hook line and sinker



“I’m not guilty, but if I say my version of events I’ll sound guilty” says George Floyd’s murderer