As parliament cracks down on sexual harassment, Barnaby resorts to fucking the planet instead

Scott Morrison announces Net Zero commitments to climate policy

Scott Morrison begins preparations to embarrass Australia in Glasgow

Perrottet announces commitment to having the most diverse cabinet of rich straight white men possible

Inspired by Morrison, local worker announces plans to not show up to meetings from now on

‘AstraZeneca abandons Australia after someone ran a scare campaign against it,’ say media

‘Why Aussies are misinformed on Climate Change?’ – Top 10 answers for Sky News’ question

Support for royals skyrockets after Prince Charles mocks Morrison

Sydney avoids eye-contact with Victoria and Canberra as it heads out of lockdown

Labor ‘heroically’ makes ‘Net 0 by 2050’ stance official, one week after the fossil fuel industry

‘Grace Tame is too divisive’ claims News Corp writer in weekly divisive column

PM who refuses to make a Federal ICAC says we need a way to hold Twitter users accountable

Perrottet scores new role as teenager on Heartbreak High

PM opposes federal ICAC, stating we need to “learn to live with” corrupt politicians

ICAC drops investigation into Gladys Berejiklian after finding out the timing doesn’t suit her

‘We can’t copy NSW’s ICAC model federally because then we can’t be corrupt’ says PM

John Barilaro resigns to spend more time with the fixated person’s unit

Gladys resigns to spend more time with paper shredder

Federal government confused why politician would resign over corruption

Gladys resigns after learning that if you lie to an ICAC they will launch an investigation into you

NSW to replace Premier with looped recording of ‘Please Know’

Credlin rips off Gladys’ mask to reveal it was Dan Andrews all along

‘We can’t waste money on covid support’ says government that spent $9m on the COVIDSafe app

Labor asks focus group if it’s true they’re too reliant on focus groups

Woman who bought dress for $3 from weird Instagram ad surprised to find it’s shit

Government announce Manus Island will hit “Freedom Day” once vaccination target of 150% is reached

Authorities issue health warning for children in the Sydney region after George Pell returns for a conference

Top 10 things we could be spending $66 billion on instead of breaking a contract with France

Musk and Grimes agree to share custody of ‘most annoying’ title

Tectonic plate offered role in Federal Cabinet after being a bit shifty

House destroyed in Melbourne earthquake opens bidding at $5 million

NSW to receive $700m disaster relief after Victoria hit by earthquake

PM asks Biden if the Submarines have cloaking devices to help hide from responsibility

Oak Milk file for bankruptcy after 1 day without tradies working

Angus Taylor becomes the least qualified Science Minister since Christian Porter

Scott Morrison scraps US sub deal in favor of cutting-edge coal powered submarines

Man who brought in RoboDebt complains about being punished for being given money he didn’t ask for

Scott Morrison to punish Porter by promoting him to Deputy PM

Piers Morgan celebrates return to News Corp by hacking a dead kid’s phone

Scott Morrison launches inquiry to investigate whether there is a way to save Porter’s career

‘Oops’: Morrison thought he was ordering ‘new clear’ submarines, made of glass

Christian Porter demands his name be redacted from his coffee cup

Prime Minister who said we can’t blindly trust Porter’s alleged victim blindly trusts $1m donation

Tasmania quietly enacts plan to tow state over to New Zealand

Keneally claims she is a diverse candidate: ‘I love Vietnamese food’

NSW government announce plan to replace press conferences with looped recording of ‘can I just say’

Doctors admit Ivermectin has some medical benefits after learning it will prevent anti-vaxxers reproducing

Pfizer told they’d have better luck reaching Greg Hunt if they tweeted him from the account ‘BBWCumPumper69’

Scott Morrison’s empathy consultant to be replaced with ‘basic human decency’ consultant

‘I didn’t break any rules’ says guy who makes the rules

Victorian Liberal party now so irrelevant they needed to make up some ‘Matthew’ guy for attention

News Corp admits climate change is real after hell freezes over

PM defends giving opening keynote at Women’s Summit, ‘Someone needs to explain to the ladies what the problem is’

News Corp mysteriously start to care about climate misinformation hours before Senate hearing on misinformation

Pre-School class told to draw their dream house they will never own

Emergency Chaplains hired to help calm Coalition MPs worried about the new Wiggles lineup

ABBA announce comeback album called ‘GrandMamma Mia’

Scott Morrison responds to Q&A by asking Grace Tame if she wants a milkshake

‘This is brilliant’: CEO of Ivermectin delighted idiots keep eating his medicine

Experts hoping Ivermectin will cure some of Joe Rogan’s more horse-shit ideas