For Disability Day, TV show graciously gives disabled person spot they’d normally give racist

NSW legalises drugs – Police forced to come up with new excuse to strip search 12 yo’s

“Difference is we own up to our war crimes” says PM still charging the whistleblower

Andrew Bolt blasts people fleeing bushfires “We can’t let fire stop us living our lives”

Morrison fires back at China with spicy distracted boyfriend meme

Following The Crown’s lead, Sky News to pre-warn viewers that their stories are mostly fiction

Triple J announce hip new breakfast host Alan Jones

Jobseeker Mathias Cormann hit with $28 million robodebt bill

Jobseeker Mathias Cormann forced to wait on hold for 8 hours to get Jet refueled by centrelink

Struggling Jobseeker Mathias Cormann forced to choose between paying rent and keeping jet

War Memorial annouces exhibit on the horrors of Channel 7’s SAS

Minister for Women Tony Abbott spotted in Scotland giving free tampons to himself

Kerry Stokes offers to pay for new War Memorial exhibit celebrating war crimes

“Let young people buy houses with super, it’s not like they’ll get to retire anyway” says LNP

Trump demands recount of his children after Tiffany shows up to dinner

Federal government furious Dan Andrews didn’t prevent ADF war crimes

Mooching foreigner caught bludging off government handouts

Government attempts to boost Covid Safe usage by adding ‘stories’ feature

Pete Evans rumoured to appear on the next season of Masked Singer

Ten unveil last minute I’m A Celeb replacement Fraser Anning

Covid already seen everything interesting in Adelaide, now wondering what to do

Historians admit they missed ‘Harry Styles wears dress’ in the Communist Manifesto

Ten unveil new show where they drop Pete Evans in the jungle and just leave him there

Pete Evans unveils new cook book ‘Mein Kampfort food’

“We can only afford $300 for robodebt victims” says PM handing Foxtel $10mill

How this pandemic I created helps me sell more laptops, by Bill Gates

Sunrise rushes to book Pete Evans following his neo-nazi post

Morrison announces he has begun helping Biden with Covid by ordering his ticket to Hawaii

Former Apprentice host unveiled as the new Biggest Loser

Concerned Credlin warns viewers ‘gullible’ has been taken out of dictionary

Government that ‘can’t afford the ABC’ gives $10m to Foxtel for literally no reason

Trump takes election to ‘highest court’ in a special episode of Judge Judy

PM “too busy” ignoring sexual misconduct to find time for NAIDOC week

Trump retires to spend exactly the same amount of time playing golf

PM denies misogyny – “I never interrupted Tony when he was Minister for Women”

Guy with dementia in basement rigs 75m votes, reports Fox

Doctors amazed as local man miraculously regrows spine

Trump team reveal new spokesperson Paris Hilton after booking mixup

Comrade Biden seen driving a tank to Wall Street

Muslim Latina woman sorry to hear Trump voters feel a bit worried by Biden

Confused Trump team book rally in the Tina Arena

Republicans begin long search for the absolute worst person to nominate in 2024

Confused Giuliani holds press conference inside a Four Seasons condom

America passes history test

Thank fuck

Socialist revolutionary Biden begins the slaughter of billionaires

Florida Man retires to spend more time with daughter

Putin resigns after losing American election

Trump family rush to sell all the White House cutlery on Ebay

Donald Trump spotted fleeing across border to Mexico

Quick guide to whether Trump supporters want more or less votes counted in your area

World shocked as President who said he wouldn’t accept election result doesn’t accept election result

LGBT community send condolences to bank marketing teams after Sydney Mardi Gras cancelled

The NSW Blues declare they ‘hereby claim’ victory in State of Origin

Biden vows to unite the smoking ruins of America

Local man really not looking forward to seeing Bernie-supporting coworker tomorrow

World feeling pretty stupid for putting it’s hope in Texas

America loses election

With no clear winner, America agrees to just go without President

Biden vote surges after Trump shares stage with Lil Pump