Having wasted an entire day anxiously watching the US presidential election from a country on the other side of the world, Sydney resident Will Grayson has just realised he now has something else to worry about: having to listen to that smug Bernie Sanders supporter in the office all fucking day tomorrow.
Grayson’s co-worker, junior salesman Thom Rupert-Villiers, has spent the last nine months banging on about how Bernie was robbed and how Biden’s a hopeless candidate who will lose the unloseable election. Despite his own misgivings about Biden, Grayson reports that he considers himself in the “whatever gets rid of Trump” camp, which has led to many a protracted argument with Rupert-Villiers, where he tried his best to emphasize Biden’s strengths and his obvious leads in the polls. That’s all crumbling to dust now, as it becomes clear that this election is way closer than any contest between an experienced public servant and an intellectually-impaired lunatic ever should be.
“Oh, Christ, I can already hear him,” Grayson told the Chaser, as he crudely imitates Rupert-Villier’s shrill voice: “’Sanders would have held onto the latino vote. Sanders would have swept the rustbelt. Sanders would have won the Senate.’ The thing is, I don’t even know if he’s wrong anymore!”
The Chaser Quarterly